Food has always been a cornerstone of my family, particularly during festive seasons. Thanksgiving means indulging in succulent turkey, and for Christmas, it’s all about prime rib. The side dishes hold just as much importance – vibrant green beans, luscious mashed potatoes, and, of course, an array of delectable pies. As a mother, providing nourishment to my family isn’t simply about filling their stomachs; it’s a way of expressing love.

However, everything changed when my son, James, entered the world with complex health issues. I was determined to ensure he had a positive relationship with food, even with his feeding tube. This journey forced me to confront my own emotions about nurturing my family.

James’ connection with food has always been a struggle. He relied on tube feeding for the majority of his early life, and even now, at twelve years old, he still requires Pediasure to supplement his nutrition. For the longest time, I harbored feelings of guilt about relying on Pediasure. I believed I wasn’t providing him with “real” food. Eventually, I came to realize that nourishing my son wasn’t about the form of food, but rather about meeting his nutritional requirements.

It wasn’t just my son who wrestled with food; I grappled with my own guilt stemming from his time in the neonatal intensive care unit. I had intended to breastfeed, but the stress of pumping for a NICU baby became overwhelming. Eventually, I transitioned to formula, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was failing my son.

Tube feeding had its own set of challenges. It undeniably benefited my son’s health, but it also gave rise to oral aversions. I was resolute in providing him with the best nourishment, even if it meant liquefying his meals for the feeding tube. The act of feeding him gradually became somewhat routine, and I felt as though I was doing the best I could as a mother.

Observing my son grapple with eating was heart-wrenching. He struggled with severe oral aversion and needed to learn how to eat. The formal therapy programs had lengthy waiting lists, and the onus fell on me to aid him in overcoming his aversion to food. Pediasure played a pivotal role in altering his relationship with food. The flavour of Pediasure from chewing on his feeding pump tube opened up a new world for him.

James’ journey to savoring food was gradual. It entailed numerous attempts, including participation in an inpatient feeding program. While the program proved successful, it presented fresh challenges. Eating was physically taxing for my son, and I was perpetually concerned about his calorie intake.

Despite the hardships, we discovered that vegetarian cuisine held the key to instigating his desire to eat. Little by little, he started to relish certain foods, and I learned to allow him to progress at his own pace.

Presently, my son has developed his own preferences. While he may not adore all the holiday fare, it brings me immense happiness to witness his enjoyment of the ones he does. Witnessing him derive pleasure from food has always been my ultimate aspiration, and I am profoundly grateful to witness it unfold.

This journey has taught me to cherish the small triumphs and permit my son to progress on his own terms. I’ve also realised that food is not solely about sustenance; it’s about discovering happiness and solace in what we eat.